Gratitude
A year ago the world didn't stop turning. Blissfully unaware, seasons continued to blend through their colourful palettes, at times resonating, other times in discord with my own internal changes.
When I realised the world would not stop spinning just because the ground beneath my feet had fractured into the great abyss, I actively searched out stories of people who had had far worse happen and survived (quite grim reading at times!).
Stories of resilience, of survivors, of thrivers, of people who go through really tough stuff but, somehow, hadn’t sunk under the burden of it all. What was the ingredients to the “somehow” I mused?
The Power of Gratitude
One of the themes that kept coming through, is that people seem to able to handle the hard hits when they can express thankfulness and gratitude despite the enemy they face. Gratitude is a force to be reckoned with.
So today that’s what I want to bring to you - my gratitude.
For my first year living with cancer, I am thankful for…
Rescue. I’m thankful that every time I felt like I was slipping under, drowning in the turmoil, there was always a hand to pull me out. Time and time again. Thank you to all those outstretched hands - Jesus, Anton, my parents, my children, my wider family and community of friends, other CLL’ers.
Writing. This blog has become a treasured creative expression for me. A safe place to process and share my thoughts, feelings and experiences and receive such encouraging feedback.
Health. Despite my diagnosis, despite what the blood tests say, I am actually well. I am fit. I am healthy. I am capable.
Peace. Always holding my hand. Always.
Lament. Journeying through grief, wrestling, worry, facing my mortality and an uncertain future has been hard but rewarding. I’ve taken time to understand lament and develop grace for it in myself and for others.
Adventure. As a family full of commitments, we’ve still made time for some wonderful adventures. I love exploration in nature. Getting out and feeling risky, wild, free and alive. That brings life to my spirit, always.
Kisses. I love that all three of my young sons still feel open enough to share tender hugs, kisses and I love you’s with their mom. These are glimmers of the divine to me.
Slowing down. I never thought I’d willing submit to a rhythm of life that wasn’t full of outward investment. But here I am treasuring, rather than resenting, quieter ebbs and flows.
Food. Now for anyone that knows me well, this one will surprise you. Anton has always been the lover of food in our home. I’d happily eat peanut butter sandwiches day in and day out. But nourishing, healthy, healing food is becoming something I now savor.
Community. While at times this year, I have felt hamstrung with my new limitations, being part of a community home-school and church where I could, within my capacity, apply my skills and strengths has been such a gift.
How blessed am I?
No cancer can steal joy from a heart that has treasures to sing about on a daily basis.
I’ll leave you with this question, because, remember, gratitude is a force to be reckoned with!
