Treatment & Family | #2 Fill up the bucket
Cancer can be an empty vacuum that sucks in your health as well as your families hope and heart. The antidote to this is filling up on fun. Creating a reservoir of fulfilling moments together.
Long before I knew I was going to start treatment, our calendar had been booked up with some fun family activities. The IronMan, Top-Schools and WOMAD were all crammed into the three week lead up and, boy, that not only kept spirits high through March, but also provided some important perspectives for the journey ahead.
Three weeks to treatment: IronMan
10 days after signing up for the Celestial Trial, our family packed our bags and headed to Tāupo to support my 70yr old uncle to compete in the full Iron-Man. For those unfamiliar with this grueling event, it consists of a 4km swim in a lake, a 180km bike ride followed by a full marathon (42km run). This is no small undertaking when you are young and fit. To attempt your first one at 70yrs is beyond remarkable! And what an inspiration he was - an amazing demonstration of resilience and pushing through the pain.
For each leg of the race, our family would find a spot to cheer him on and, while we waited, we would encourage all the other athletes passing by. This is one of the highlights of being an IronMan supporter. Witnessing the determination of such an incredible mix of participants. Most of the field are not professional athletes. For each of them, there is something personal and profoundly rewarding about this achievement that inspires them into hour upon hour of hard physical effort and endurance. They start at 8am, many finish well into the late night hours, taking over 12 hours to complete the course. This takes more than physical fitness, it takes steadfast willpower. And as the sun set, we sat out under the stars, still supporting the staggering survivors as they trudged through the night. We’d give each passing person a “superpower high five” and see their spirits lift as well as their stride.
For the last leg of the run, my uncle was flanked by two of my sons and my mum, while we cheered out the car window. The sheer exhilaration of such a monumental achievement carried him across the finish line, as the commentator’s voice boomed “You. Are. An IronMan!” That day, my boys witnessed how, with inner strength and pure resolve, a person can persevere and overcome even the most difficult of trials.
That was Saturday. Monday, I drove myself in for a CT and heart scan. Two tests in preparation for my own trial. Inspired by my uncle, I was undaunted by this next step on a journey which I knew would also require inner strength, resolve and perseverance.
Two weeks to treatment: Top Schools
The following weekend we were off to one of the best events on the school calendar - Top Schools - a medley of energetic, crazy and hilarious team activities. Here the kids undertake all manner of madness, mostly involving buckets: water slides holding leaky buckets, stretching thin to grab a floating ball out of a bucket, balancing a bucket full of water on a pole above your head, sponge bob square pants sponge throw into a bucket… Every parent supporter secretly wishes there was an adult version of the competition, as our inner child enviously cheers from the sidelines.
An event like this allows no time for dwelling on life’s worries. It is fully immersive and laughter generating. It encourages us all to embrace the freedom and fun of youth. Winning is hardly the objective here (although there is a rather large trophy for the Top School)… this event is designed end to end to be about fun in all it’s fullness.
As the water or sand, is squeezed, splashed, dripped, or drained from whatever vessel the activity determines, the goal is usually the same. Work as a team to get as much of it into the container (mostly buckets) at the end. Don’t spill it, leak it or let it slip by. Retain or extract as much as you can. Another good takeaway for our family as the countdown continued. There is so much good in life. Let’s work to retain and extract all that is good. Fill up our buckets with a life lived fully.
One week to treatment: WOMAD
And then, WOMAD, World of Music and Dance, in Taranaki. Our contained way of “traveling around the world”, experiencing the talents and sounds of different ethnicities and cultures, celebrating life and family. A full three days of dancing, grooving, laughing and living. As each day tapped out another beat towards treatment, we appreciated the vibrant and energizing rhythms playing, with the volume turned up.
The absolute highlight from this festival for me was when, puffed out from dancing (high white blood cell count was taking it’s toll on my oxygen capacity), I sat down on the grassy hillside while all my boys (husband included) grooved to an outrageously energetic Bosnian scar reggae band, dressed in bright yellow football gear (I know, the mind boggles). As they “la-la-la-d” their way through the hilariously interactive performance, a man behind me lent forward and commended me on my children’s dancing. He was impressed that, in this day of the surely “screen-ager”, my tween and teen were unashamedly rocking out with their parents. Very proud mum moment, just saying.
And this is it, right? This is what we live for. We yearn for that feeling of wild abandoned wonder-filled, exhilarating freedom. The freedom to dance. The freedom to connect. The freedom to live without walls. The freedom to move authentically. We have this freedom when we are children. The man did not marvel at my 6yr old dancing wildly before him, but he marveled at youth on the verge of adulthood still being young and free. Because usually something, someday robs us of that. And then we spend most of our adult lives seeking it, just a taste, if only for a moment.
But why let this childlike freedom slip out of our grasp in the first place? I’m sure this uninhibited freedom is what Jesus saw when he said it was those who became like little children who would enter His Kingdom. We’ve determined to always be a family that dance together, no matter what circumstances, distractions or difficulties we face. And so we danced through the day and through the night, towards the dawn of a new season…
Now, let the games begin…
In the countdown to treatment, these weekends of fun-filled activity deposited hope, health and happiness into our buckets. The very real strain of impending cancer treatment on our family was made more than “just manageable” because we were thriving in other areas. Instead of a tank sucked empty by growing anxiety, our reservoir was full and we felt ready for the games to begin…
Courage, Love and Legacy | Points to Ponder
When faced with a massive marathon, we each to have to find ways to draw deep to sustain us on the journey ahead. For us, we were thankful for a calendar full of fun activities to fill our bucket. But like the leaky buckets at Top Schools, what we pour in, also leaks out into life around us, as we go about our days. It’s important to keep finding personal freedom, fulfillment and fun moments, even in the difficulties, in order to keep our reservoirs full.
What does filling your reservoir look like to you?
How full are you feeling today?
Is there something you have planned or could plan to do to top it up this month?
Good on you Kylie! Keeping eveything in balance!